I am blogging early today. I decided to end at 1 and have lunch after. The days are long, Daniel and I get tired. Daniel has to speak for two so he gets really tired. The people are hot, the topics intense, the pain great for many.
I am sitting in front on the fan of in our room, resting and writing. I like to write – it helps me to process my thoughts and ‘debrief’ myself. Today was another amazing day. Little by little walls come down, hearts are revealed, and truth is spoken. I find I get quite fired up when I hear someone speak something that may cause pain in another – any references to weakness in emotion, or things like that. The Pentecostal in me naturally comes out (my home church has seen it to over my disdain for the prosperity gospel). The words I have hid in my heart seems to just roll off my tongue at those moments as my words become those of the Holy Spirit. Sure not my doing, I always say I can’t remember what I had for breakfast. For some crazy reason- God has a message for the people that He has entrusted to us this week about compassionate care, and he has chosen David and I as vessels to deliver it.
God loves the people of Haiti. They are so filled with faith and resiliency but people are people everywhere, and love is the most difficult thing to live in, and show others; true, agape love – the unconditional non-judgmental type. That is near impossible any where we may live – but ALL things are possible with God. Daily I am awed by the sense of community these people have, and how much I have missed that in recent years. “Delight thyself in the Lord and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. ” I came to Haiti to teach, but I am learning more; I came to Haiti to serve them, but they are serving me; I came to Haiti to help them heal, but they are healing me.
What an amazing and humbling experience to be a small part of seeing hearts soften to help each other, and people hungry to learn how to help others. Who am I Lord? I feel so ill equipped and ill qualified, but God is the God of the impossible.
Every day the people smiles get bigger when they see me, every day they try to speak to me more. Every day they thank me for coming, and some have been able to tell me (when poor Daniel has a second of free time he is accosted) how much it means to them, how good the conference is, and how much they appreciate it. The women say my name, “Zjamee” and smile. If I forget to hand them something they are quick to speak my name to make sure I don’t forget them. I love hearing them call my name.
I love the comfort level some are developing with me. I love to make them laugh, and as I often do with David, we play at love as we teach about God’s love. In teaching them about the mind, I taught them men have “nothing boxes” and women can do many things and it brought them joy. I love hearing them chuckle as I try to speak Creole to them, and laugh when I say the wrong thing. I am having so much FUN here teaching. I love to teach as you all know, but this goes beyond description.
|Free to cry – free to feel|
One young woman shared with us today that she had given up college just before the earthquake to work, and was sad about that. Then the earthquake came and she lost her job as well. She said she would cry and others would tell her not to cry and it would hurt her to keep it in. But she had learned it was OK to cry and from now on she was going to let her emotions out. I wanted to cry with her. Another brother with pain filled eyes told his story – how he needs to express his pain. He is a pastor and needs more support after the horrors her personally experienced, as well as supporting others through theirs. My heart breaks with him.
We taught them conversation starters to help people share their pain, we taught them to mirror emotions and words, and tomorrow we will give them some breathing techniques and psychological helps for their own pain and the pain of others. Many need psychological helps, and most will never get it. The people of God are the hope of the nation.
This is what I leave you with today – the song that has been on my heart.
The love of God is greater far, Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
- It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.
Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
- When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
- Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.
Verse 3 was penciled on the wall of a narrow room in an insame asylum by a man said to have been demented. The profound lines were discovered when they laid him in his coffin.