It’s still a bit raw from spiritual abuses in the past, so please tread lightly upon it, if you feel you need to tread at all.
My name is Jamie, and before you go off thinking I may be the guy in the photo, (people often do) I am not. I am a woman – mom, wife, Lola (grand-ma), friend, sister, writer, speaker, chaplain. The “M” stands for Marie, not Marvin, or Michael. The guy is my husband David, or Dave, he’s not particular.
I love Jesus, and telling others about His role in my story. He is the quill, and I am the paper. Sometimes he is the paper, and I write all over His plans. I tell my story with the hope it will help someone else with their story.
Dave and I have been soul-mates for thirty-three years and he is my bestie. It would be very spiritual to say that Jesus is my best friend, but it wouldn’t be real. Dave and Jesus share space, as I learn to fully love whom I can’t see, through learning to love more perfectly whom I can see. Marriage is a great holiness promoter, as it as brings out the worst and the best in us. Grace is sandwiched smack in the middle.
Dave and I married young and yet, I was single parenting my first wee one, and finding my way through a divorce. I was a sad lost soul looking for love in all the wrong places; a party hearty, life is good, kind of seeker when Dave appeared in my life. We now have eight living children ages sixteen to thirty-six, by birth and adoption, as well as three children who have an address in heaven.
I was a homebirthing, homesteading, sling wearing, attachment promoting, baking bread, chicken raising, doula, and dog loving, home-cooking, organic, crunchy mama. We lived, we loved, we farmed, we partied, and then we met Jesus. At least someone who resembled Jesus, but who is a stranger to me now.
Our daughter wrote about it at the age of twenty-eight,
“What happened shortly after my parents became Christians is that they encountered story tellers who had the story wrong. But what made things extra tricky, is that these storytellers did not have the whole story wrong. In fact, they had many parts right. In fact, they had enough of the story right to make the wrong parts seem right as well. Lies mixed in with truth are the best kinds of lies -they are the most difficult to recognize.”
(Read the whole post here: https://jamiegrubb.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/on-being-a-mother-by-jordan-grubb/
Our beautiful, dark haired, chubby, newborn son Micaiah, died traumatically because of the lies in that christian cult called the Faith Message. It’s now a sad thread that has been woven into the fabric of our redemption story.
I became an uber-conservative fundamentalist, complementarian, quiver-full, patriarchal movement, divine healing only, denim dress wearing, no TV, praise music only, Proverbs 31, if you don’t speak in tongues your missing it, I know the “the truth,” full blown self-righteous, law maker.
I was really, really, good at it.
But now – I am freeeeeeee.
Now, I know that I am loved – just Jamie. Not in spite of my messy self, but because of it.
Now, I am accused of being post-modern – a liberal to the conservatives and a conservative to the liberals. Really, I am simply Jamie; living my life to serve Jesus and His Kingdom growth, in the best way I know how; navigating the road of discipleship, growth, and relationship with Jesus, as I heal, hope, and love. You see, the one thing I do know and am absolutely convinced matters – is that Kingdom building begins and ends with love, and in the middle is a whole lot of theological goop.
Grace is the road, and love is the motivation.
My theological views have changed a lot – I am a pastor and chaplain, speaker, teacher, writer, and grace grower.
I kept most of my crunchy self, but don’t bake as often. One loaf of bread can last a long time with just three of us.
I try to make the world a better place by helping others through a teeny, tiny non-profit called Compassionate Reach International . I am the founder and chaplain/ trainer etc. It’s my way of living out Micah 6:8 to seek justice, love mercy, and walk in humility. I am a chaplain endorsed with the Assemblies of God, but often lead worship as pulpit supply in ecumenical churches such as Reformed and PCA. I am an MDiv student at Fuller Theological Seminary still trying to figure out how I want to continue to serve Jesus when I grow up. I was born to serve, this I know.
I am called to work in the sacred spaces of loss and grief; infant and child loss is near and dear to my heart. I am post-abortion from my younger days too, so I feel the hurt of mothers who live with regret or shame. I try to help heal that hurting place, by bringing Jesus there.
Jesus is kind and gentle, loving and embracing, He relentlessly pursues us to bring us into His embrace. I believe He has a special place for women in the church, or fleeing the church, who have been wounded by doctrines that usurp kindness, or lifestyles that lack authenticity. Jesus often gets a bad rap but without Him, I don’t know where my life would be. His love and grace has made the difference.
If you don’t believe that God loves you as a woman, for just who you are, uniquely created with gifts and talents to use for His Kingdom’s growth, you’ve been lied to.
Maybe I am just crazy; crazy to love God and others; I hope I continue to go insane.
Jesus is behind a great conspiracy of love; a very Sacred Conspiracy.