To those who know us, Joy did “come in the morning.” Our youngest daughter Joy Dawnelle, was born at 7:03 a.m., two years after the death of our son, Micaiah. Our joy in the morning.
Last night David learned his father will be having surgery to remove a kidney with a mass on it that is larger than his kidney. We are praying for a miracle.
Today I received the news that my daughters pastor and wife, who are also her friends, gave birth to their baby boy. We had been praying for this baby who it was discovered had a rare illness, and without a miracle would die prior to birth, or directly after his birth. The parents were hoping for a miracle, as were those who stood alongside them. Though I only met them once, we know the pain of losing a beloved baby son and had prayed for the mercy of God upon this couple who have already suffered so much. The last I heard, they were lovingly holding their baby, praying for a quick passing into eternity. I can only believe that their last prayer was answered, and baby Emmett has left the arms of his parents to be held closely in the arms of Jesus. I know my daughter will mourn the loss with her friends – they all will.
A short time later my other daughter called to tell me her very good friend had gone into premature labor – at just 28 weeks. My daughter is also pregnant, and this pregnancy has been difficult – not without it’s own trials – and she and her friend had walked this pregnancy road together. They are all hurting. They are praying for a miracle.
I wept for them all – I pray for them all – to press in for a positive outcome for one family, while I pray for the fear, loneliness, pain, grief – and hope – of them all.
My tooth broke an hour ago and I found myself almost panicking. I have needed this tooth fixed – it’s bad – it needs to be a root canal – or pulled.
A tooth – big deal…
The night that our son died, almost 20 years ago, I had an abscessed tooth begin. As David spent the night weeping, finally falling into a fitful sleep of mental exhaustion, I spent the night moaning in agony, wondering why my God would allow suffering, upon suffering. I was too weak and in pain from the birth to pace the floors, to get the rag heated up to ease the pain (and my beloved was free from emotional pain, in sleep for a while)- all I could do was sit, cry, moan, and feel my heart slowly ripped from my soul. It took 3 days for the pain to subside – just in time for us to bury our baby. The tooth was pulled – ripped from my life – like Micaiah. Symbolic.
When my decayed tooth broke a few hours ago, it triggered all the pain from the past. The panic flooded with the memories – will the pain be great? There is suffering all around me, will I be able to bear it?
We live in a fallen, broken, decayed world that is full of agony, pain and suffering. Why tonight Lord, why does my tooth break tonight?
“At what time I am afraid, I will trust in You Lord” My cry to God the night my son died – the day I labored to bring him forth.
All around us – people trust God and live – and trust God – and die. The important thing is – they TRUST God.
Jesus came to give us hope and a future, and he felt the pain of the broken, decaying mess we live in and conquered it. As I remembered the pain from the past and embraced it – the peace of God flooded in. We only conquer pain and suffering when we choose to embrace it – to learn from it – to feel what Jesus felt as He took up His cross. No matter what we go through – HE IS – Jesus is always with us. He is beside all of these young ones and their infants in the valley or despair, or the valley of death and the hills of hope. He is with those in the earthquake, the poverty, the floods, and the volcano’s. He gives us hinds feet to walk upon the high places.
So join with me in prayer for those who are suffering loss tonight, and those who are praying for miracles. Please pray, and weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice.
Weeping may endure for the night, but Jesus is our joy in the morning.
A Sacred Conspiracy 